Fear my Geo Metro

So I was cruising to the Taco Bell last night when I heard a loud clank and a sudden rise in the noise of my engine on my 1993 Geo Metro. It sure sounded like I was doing well over a hundred miles an hour, but I assure you I never went 35. Unfortunately, just before arriving to the Taco Bell, I got pulled over by a Cop. Apparently I violated a noise ordinance and this cop had enough of these cars with aftermarket exhaust. I assured him that my car was bone stock and with no aftermarket exhaust. He then proceeded to crawl under the car and asked me to join him there. When I crawled under the car he took his night stick and very adamantly pointed out where I should have an exhaust. I explained to him that I thought there might have been one there just a short while ago, but a loud clanking noise could have been my exhaust falling off. Apparently he had heard this before. Not only did I get a ticket for the noise violation, I got an additional ticket for littering since my exhaust is laying in the road somewhere and I did not try to retrieve it. I thanked the officer and told him to be careful, he asked me if I was a computer programmer, I told him no and gave him a pen. I then got another ticket for attempted bribery - he thought my friendly gesture was trying to get me out of a ticket. After this, I decided to keep my mouth shut and head on back home.

Overall it was a great experience and I am pretty lucky because I was able to get rid of a malfunctioning pen.

Sheesh - all I do is talk about work

Well I like think I am well liked at work, so well liked that people usually just leave me a lone. I mean sure there's the occasional snicker as people walk by (why they never tell me the joke I don't know), the once off prank (I did not appreciate my chair being replaced by a wooden child's chair - by the way whoever has my chair could I have it back - my legs are killing me in this small chair), and there is always the lost invitation to company parties; but overall I think I am well liked so to the person who ask if they hate me at work or like to make fun of me - I believe the answer is no.

So anyway off to today's topic - Cable TV. Did you know that your basic cable package includes more than 4 stations? I use to think that NBC, CBS, ABC, and FOX was the premium package that I was paying a lot of money for. When I first signed up for the package I was told I would get channels 2-81. So I was bit disturbed at first. I call a really nice lady from local cable company who didn't speak English well and she assured me that I had what I was suppose to have. Well today (4 years after that first call) I had no cable and called the cable man. He came out fixed it and asked why I had only 4 channels. I explained to him what the rep had told me and he laughed, explained to me that I should be getting channels 2-81 and then left. I called the company again and got a new person - again they said they were local, but they had to be from the South part of town because I couldn't understand them. I am still on hold (3 hours now)...so I will be sure to post an update later.

It was great to get my 4 channels back b/c The Office is on tomorrow and I am pretty lucky because I can make the cable man laugh.

Fan mail? Maybe Not

I received an email today. I had been clicking the little refresh button for 2 hours straight when there it was in my inbox, a bright shiny new email. From a fan out there in darkness of the Internet.

Do you have any heroes?

Why yes I do oh wonderful friend of mine.

His name is Andy Griffith, you may know him as the lovable Sherriff of Mayberry. He is by far the coolest person I know - and I don't really know him. I sent off for an autograph picture several years ago and have yet to receive it. I am sure he is just busy and I can't wait until I receive it.

He's awesome and I'm lucky b/c somewhere there's an autographed picture of Andy Griffith with my name on it.

Another Interesting day

So I am sitting at work yesterday inspecting a faulty pen and listening to Phil Collins on my Ipod when Becky from sales comes down and proceeds to tell me she has set me up for a blind date for yesterday evening. So I take a half day to go home and take a shower and put on my lavendar tux that I wore to my cousin's wedding; I mean I am looking pretty good if I must say so when Becky calls me to tell me that her friend isn't in fact interested in going out and for that matter isn't a female. Apparently her and Becky aren't as good of friends as I thought. So being all dolled up I head to the local Taco Bell which is my usual location for scouting for single chicks and enjoy a nice Spicy Chicken Burrito.

Overall it was a great day and I am pretty lucky that Becky didn't make me go out with Frank.

Road Rage

I don't get road rage one bit. I was riding a long on my Kawasaki Motorcycle when an old man in a car that resembled my gramp's car cut me off. After the old gent cut me off, he proceeded to honk and cuss at me out the window for no apparent reason. I was excited about the upcoming day at work, so I decided to just let him be. Later while eating a tuna fish sandwich for lunch my gramps calls me and proceeds to tell me that a little unmentionable word of a person pissed him off this morning on his way for a Colonoscopy. This was his second colonoscopy this week so I understand why he seemed so upset. He explained that a young man in leather on a small bike that looked like a Harley only more girly glanced at him when he passed him and it angered him. His words "Danged motorcycle riders they really irritate my colon." I recalled the mornings ride in and realized the unfortunate set of events. I wasn't glancing at my gramps, I was looking at the sign for a free face lift after a tummy tuck thinking my gramps could really use one.

That's ok, I'm pretty lucky I guess because my gramps didn't run over me.

A Wonderful Wedding

What a day. My cousin finally got married. We have been looking for a perfect woman for him for some time now and we found her last week. They fell in love and got married today. I was lucky enough to be invited and finally found an excuse to wear my lavender tux. Anyway enough about me, here are some photos from the wedding.


I was so proud of Ernie. He knew right from the the first time he saw Bobbie that he would marry her. They seem happy together and the wedding was great, unfortunately by the time I got to front of the line for wedding cake it was all gone. Ernie was wearing most of it, so I need to find time to remind Bobbie that he can't eat the whole cake at once.


That's ok, I'm pretty lucky because I am watching my weight and didn't need any cake.

Work Treats Me So Well

My company just recently merged with a small mom and pop pen and pencil company locally - I am excited because we are going to add mechanical pencils to our lineup. Part of the new merger meant a new logo and new name. Since our id badges contained the old logo, we had to get new badges made. Today was the day I was scheduled to have my new badge picture made. I wanted my picture to look good. I wore my best shirt and suspenders, and I put a lot of extra hold gel in my hair. The lady told me where to stand, look straight ahead, and smile big. She counted down 3,2,1… and then she realized there was no film left. Apparently, the company had given the head count to the photographer one less than the true count - I don't think this was intentional. They told me I could just keep my old badge and they would give me a sticker with the new logo to place over the old logo.



That's ok, I’m pretty lucky I guess because I get to keep my old badge which I think has a better thinner picture of me.

Is this a joke?

Someone emailed me a loser quiz? I took it, but I don't get it? Is this good or bad?




That's ok, I'm pretty lucky I guess because I didn't need my mom's help.

A Great Day at Work

I received a complaint call at work from someone who had bought five boxes of pens from my employer. He said that he had an entire box of pens that did not click. I was skeptical of this complaint, because I had never heard of our pens not clicking. I asked him if he was sure and he held a pen up to the phone and tried to make it click. Since I could not hear the pen click, I asked him to try another one. After he tried to make all 50 pens in the box click for me over the phone, I knew he had a problem. When I told him I thought he had a problem, he said some things to me that I cannot repeat in this blog. I offered to send him a new box of pens free of charge. He said he would send the defective box of pens back to me and told me what I could do with them.

That’s ok, I'm pretty lucky I guess because I wasn't involved in quality control.

Guess What happened to me!

So I woke up this morning lying in the floor for no apparent reason with a pain in my foot and realized it's going to be another great day. I go outside to warm up my bike, yep I ride a Kawasaki Eliminator 125. As I am putting on my temporary tattoo and leather jacket my bike quits running. Knowing nothing about engines I have to run a mile down the street to the bus stop (yes still in my leather, but the sweat from my morning run has now rubbed my temporary tattoo off into a mix of weird colors). So I get there and am waiting for the bus with an old guy and his dog. Apparently, I was standing too close to the fire hydrant, because the dog wandered up and peed on my leg.

That's ok, I am pretty lucky I guess because it turns out I just forgot to turn the fuel valve to the on position on my bike.

I collect stamps

Last night, I was having a pretty good dream about my collection of stamps when I had the urge to go to the bathroom. As I staggered around the room, I stubbed my toe on a chair. I darn near broke it off. As I hobbled around the room, I then stepped on a tack that had fallen off the bulletin board beside my desk. After some more hobbling, I was out of the mood to go to the bathroom and went back to bed.

That's ok, I'm pretty lucky because some people don’t have bulletin boards beside their desks.

Tom didn't want to be my friend

I thought Tom on myspace was everyone's friend:

http://myspace.com/aluckyloser

That's ok, I'm lucky because I figured out how to use myspace.

Who Wants to be a Millionaire

Here is a picture of my mom on "Who Wants to Be A Millionaire"I told her not to use me for the "Phone a friend" yet she did. When I answered all I could say was use the 50/50.

That's ok, I am pretty lucky because nobody remembers me telling her to use the 50/50 instead of polling the audience.

April Fools Day

Yes I was born on April Fools day. No I don't think it was a joke. My mother quit giving me birthday cards when I was 2 and my dad kept giving me pet birds as a gift. I was the only teenager in my school that had 10 different species of pet birds. I think I have only officially celebrated 2 birthdays although my co-workers threw me a surprise party last year that I missed (they promised they simply forgot my invitation). Does that count?

That's ok, I guess I am pretty lucky because I know a lot about pet birds.

Hello - Am I doing this right?

Well hello, I'm Herman Poindexter and my friend's girlfriend's cousin's baby brother told me I should start blogging. I was like wow what a great idea, so I spent the next month in a state of pure bliss as I researched blog after blog to figure out what I wanted to blog about. I had narrowed my list down to these topics.

1. Computers
2. Politics
3. The Human Genome Project
4. Dogs
5. Exotic Food

After much deliberation I realized some things.

1. I don't know anything about computers
2. I don't understand politics (I failed 4 Political Science classes in college before changing my major from Political Science)
3. Jurrasic Park scared me
4. My dog never learned to use the litter box
5. I only eat Taco Bell

So I guess I am just going to blog about what's on my mind. The best way to start is with a post about me. My mom wanted a daughter, my dad wanted a pet bird. There was the awkward stage between 3-27 that I can't explain. I had a girlfriend for 2 months, but didn't realize I was suppose to call her, date her, and buy her things. In fact I don't think I once ever talked to her. Right now I am a call center rep for a small pen manufacturer. If you have ever had a generic no name brand pen break, you may have talked to me. I spend most of my 8 hour shift trying to learn how a pen goes together so I can answer my support calls. Last month I came in 2nd for Call Center Rep of the Month. I was told I would not receive a prize since there is only 2 of us.

That's ok, I'm pretty lucky because this blog is free.